The woman was 87, her husband was 90, and they lived in Bakersfield, California. Both were in poor health and their granddaughter cared for them in her house. The ailing couple lay in separate beds in the same room and spent many hours holding hands. Eventually, the woman died and her body was removed from the room; her husband died about an hour later.
Was it a coincidence, or did the man give up living when his wife died? Did he ensure that he stayed alive long enough to let his wife die first? We’ll never know, although I'd like to think so. If their granddaughter's account were true, they had an idyllic marriage and adored each other. They lived for each other for most of their lives and, when the time came, departed this earth together. If only all relationships were like that.
Unfortunately, marriages aren't always as successful; nearly half will end in divorce and some of those that do survive are unhappy, with couples continuing in a dismal relationship. That's why it's refreshing to hear when marriages work well.
When a couple begin a relationship, everything is fun and each other's idiosyncrasies are quaint and forgivable. Over time, though, these can become irritations and the pair may become less tolerant of each other. Once on the downward slope, the decline gathers momentum and it needs a combined effort to recover. All too often, a person will criticise their partner in public and it's obvious that there's no mutual respect. A partnership requires compromise and trust and after a while, if taken for granted, this can be eroded. What a shame it is to see couples you know and like, bickering in a self-destructive spiral. I don't pretend to be a specialist in this subject, but once the rot sets in, it seems to me that an element of harmony is diminished.
So here's a controversial idea; instead of marrying for life, why not enter into a 10-year contract, renewable if both parties agree? Then, after 10 years, they could sign an extension, and so on. Relationships change and this would give an opportunity for both individuals to recognise those changes and separate, if they wanted to, without redress. Alternatively, they may be happy to continue, looking forward to another ten years. Taking marriage in stages could just help it to last, as each commitment would be for a shorter period.
The Bakersfield couple had no need to renew any contracts; their marriage worked, as if it were a fairy story. They married young and lived happily ever after. A wonderful example of how it can be, when we find the perfect partner.
P.S. I'd now be on my second contract, and would have my pen poised to sign the third!